living on hope and love

Sitting by the window, I am looking at the beautiful drizzle. Calm, pleasant and soothing. As if it is bringing letters of love from heavens to earth. Little drops of love. A sweet smell of earthen joy; smell of life. I sit and reminisce the crests and troughs I have been through. Alone, but not lonely. Marauding thoughts and racing mind accompany me. I sit here finding solace in solitude. .A hundred thoughts dance in my mind. It feels good; feels alive.

The skies, the earth, rain or even the wind they all are the same as yesterday. This is how they are for long enough time. But I feel the joy today . I feel the beauty today. The difference lies with in me. It is not everyday you see the crimson sky of the dusk and wonder the pulchritude of his creation.it is not everyday you relish the breeze blowing through your hair. In this ever busy, ever hasty life we dont have time for things that really make us feel good.those little things. Those tiny parts which make up our lives.

 Every moment we struggle to be normal.. we dont realize the loss of those wondrous mundane things which we take for granted. We try to run through paths which are shadowed, but scared to walk those untrod paths. Being lost in things we die for is worthy. Yet we are scared to take risks because we are so used to normalcy that any change even with glorious results daunt us. We crib at our present, cry through it and the next day we are again running the same race.

Life means more than this.  You only live once. Live it as you  want. Live it, dont just survive. Live it for yourself; society was here before you and it stays after. It can take care of itself.you take care of yourself. Do good to your next one, live through every moment as if it is a new season. Every moment is an epiphany; seize it. Everyday is a bridge between your yesterday and tomorrow. If you really want to paint a rainbow, then dont frame it with shadows.best painting of the world is out there on the sky., which has no frames or limits.

Let's live through our joys and sorrows.lets thank every morsel of joy feeding our souls everyday. Lets enjoy every gasp of air that breathes life into our dreams. Lets fall and rise higher than yesterday. After all., life is always singing a new melody everyday. Lets add the rhythms of our heartbeats to the perennially pleasing song of life.

Love

Philllllosophy

Maybe the title can scare the hell out of few people and can think about me as a weird guy cuz philosophy may seem very unnatural to them or very weird.But I am no Kant, no Rousseau, no Osho..My philosophy is just my way of life.My rules,my codes and my recollections.But my life has many subtle absurdities and hidden darkness.But when those attributes define ME,I am not afraid to be with them.I indeed am damn proud about them..You love it or hate it,I am gonna say it..............

I am born to be me.Not a copy of a pre existing being.Its a worst thing to follow someone's life code and being "someone-part 2".But when I must be myself,I have to know me.Trust me,its the hardest part of life.When I am not just me and I comprise you,Its even harder.And it is the case always because I am always relative entity trying to enter absolute reality which is so raw and apparently surreal.I am a contradiction.I am the truth to me.I am that infinite reality and I am the grinning mirage.

Underneath all masks ,there is a raw truth that is beyond my physical body.I can say that at birth I was this quintessence which uniquely led to the same truth.I was also the crude humanity with the dark core.But I got layers of camouflage to cover my substinance.. Education,society,parents,friends,experiences,hardships of the world,money etc were the culprit masks.I was lost underneath.I opened my eyes wide,I couldnt see the truth.Immobile was I.!!I saw things through the eyes of these masks that were not mine.That was not my gospel.I looked around and I could see many similar masks.Was I seeing the false by looking at reality??Did the life lie to me by telling its TRUTHS??I tried in vain.....

But then I closed my eyes.Now I was able to see the sun!!I could walk in that light forward.Inward..I moved like an unbound breeze..I was going into ME now.The play of lights and shadows.My virtues and vices,my pains and my heights.I could see a glint in my reflection.I could see an ocean of bliss and ambiguity spanning ages at same time.It is not the same life afterwards.It may not be visible but I can feel ME.

I mean my deeds,my views,my living that makes ME live for ages.I only live once physically but what I do in that living gotta be pleasing for further generations.That part of me lives ahead of me,beyond me and along me.I may not have to proclaim any 'good's or 'bad's as those two words are relative to every person's self.It is what I believe in matters the most and its impact on me and others.I JUST LOVE EVERY PART OF THE LIFE TILL NOW.I MAY HAVE HAD A LOAD OF MISTAKES BUT THAT MAKES ME.NO REPENTS...................

A kick of nostalgia-MY PU DAYS

Well,this may be a quick post after my last one..I use blogging as a way to express my feelings and as an outlet to my emotions.So when I get a emotional high,writing helps me..In this blog I would like to talk about the people who changed me and my way of seeing the life..It is an account of nostalgia I experience everytime I think about my teachers and friends from college...I wish to dedicate this article to my PU college teachers and classmates................

I would start with the day I entered my college for the first time.I am horrible at days and dates,so please bear with me.It is not history;just a slice of my life..I was some 16 year old teenager who just came out of cocoon of my schooling,where I was a kid unexposed to the real world.At that time,everyone were running a rat race for engineering and medicine.So the motif of that time was "superb score in CET;this is turning point of your life".These statements came from family friends,elders,teachers etc.And taking into account my academic achievements,the expectations on me were really high.But at home,I was never burdened.They gave me full freedom so I never really felt the bad pressure..

So the day I entered the class was really amazing.Very new faced people sitting all around me with the same anxious and sanguine expression as mine.A different ambience,huge classroom,quandary about the near and distant future...I was just a bag of mixed feelings.Nonetheless,I was very ecstatic.The crew of our college came and they stood there in front of us,on the dias,speaking high about the college and briefing to us the expectations they bore on us..The talks are still so vivid.That day continued with making of new friends,jotting down the stuff being taught in class,fighting with the lingering reveries that has no start or an end..

Days passed very soon.They were spent with real joy.How can I ever forget those days.The days when there were ten hands in a single lunch box.Days when we were so stupid to fight over causes that were nothing at all now.Silly talks in the last benches,comments about the lecturers,gossips about unmentionable things...OOPS...............And we had seperate section for boys and girls.Only times the two universes get to see each other were during breaks or combined classes.That was the time when the tenderness of childhood completely vanished and a rogue,rough and breathtaking youth was carving its niche in our lives..Attraction,infatuation,crush,liking -all these were slowly making their way.A sweet sensitivity was accompanied by a stony indifference.Many smiles and many frowns.Many silences and harsh arguments.Silly talks and ugly brawls.Everything was as natural as breathing.Day after day,month after month,we classmates grew closer to each othe.Spending nearly 12 hours every at the college made us feel that it is our home. Glances at the corner of eyes set the hearts racing,a subtle smile invoked a sense of "heroism".Every day was a new breeze and every memory is a treasure of joy.

During the second year,educational reasons took the front seat.Everyone had their dreams..Passions to follow.Engineering,medicine,pure sciences etc.Huge books,whoopy lectures,guides everything was following us.But friends were there...They were always there

The people who taught us at college ,,,,I wont call them my lecturers...They were trying to see their dreams in our eyes.They taught us the alphas,omegas,HCL,Aqua regia,frequencies of waves and the gravity,human nervous system and also made us to get cockroaches and rip them apart...But they also taught us the value of life.Reason of survival and the morals of race.They were real task masters and we hated to work hard but when the results are in front of my eyes, I go dumb and am filled with the gratitude that flows like tear of joy in my mind's eye.

Now the days are gone.We dont see much of our classmates in real.We hardly meet them.But once the days are remembered,a feeling of ecstacy fills in the heart and the soul dances for the unheard song of love...

We might have mocked at you at times,may have hurt your feeling,might have put you in a fix,but we all love you.The relationship between a teacher and his students is like a forest...Older it grows,richer it is.

I want to say one thing through this poem dedicated to all the teachers who dont work dor money but for the sake of the well being of their students and the honesty of their profession.

"A LIGHT IS A WONDERFUL THING

BUT THE HANDS THAT LIT IT ARE GREATER

THE FIRE IN MY HEART IS SHOWING ME THE WAY

BUT THE SPARK THAT CAUSED THIS FIRE IS YOU,MY TEACHER"

To the people who are infected by the love and who are willing to stay infected forever

Manoj S K

EVERY DREAM IN THE DARK

A new day,new beginning for the usual thought.Every night before I slumber I think of a strategy for the next day.'No more stopping,I must start a new plan.I must stop wasting time'-These thoughts keep running in my head till I fall asleep.After these thoughts,the next thing to rule my mind is the world of dreams.Diverse,strange,funny and mysterious.They attack me,they console me,they protect me and they disturb me.I will be a saint,or a sinner.A king or a subject.Victim or a suspect....Never really can things happen like they do in dreams sometimes.I keep wondering time and again-Is the life which I think real a dream?Or the dream which scares me is in fact reality?Which is the point of reference for the decision regarding this? I may sound insane to many but the struggle within me may in fact be a struggle inside many heads...

So is the mindset!Never will it be general.But whenever you try to personalize it,it runs away from you.Maybe dreams and mindsets are siblings trying to save you from their own trap.Someone cant really wait for someone else to save them from misery.It is your own path.But the biggest mistake we do is to shadow our own paths and ask for someone else's beacon to show you the way.People either lose the charm of the destiny while choosing their path or miss the joy of that adventurous path while dreaming about the goal.....

No doubt,we all struggle to reach our goals.But,the journey is far more amazing than the destination..Because,you are alive when you move.When there is no motion,there is no life....

I can express my feelings here...

Before I close my eyes to drown in sleep

My mind broods over ideas dark and deep

It unfolds a whole new world to me

And shows me the depths which I fear to leap||

When the dark of night embraces me

With my dubious soul I try hard to see

The hidden faces behind the worldly masks

That cover the sorrows with a lie of glee||

I wait for a wind of change every new moment!A word that can never be a blasphemy,a loving hug that can never turn into vicious trap,a song of glory that lifts my spirits even in front of death,a nectarine touch that can remind a mother's warmth,a convincing hand that never says good bye.............Are all these the dreams that are waiting to become reality?

I wait with my eyes wide open,for a wind of change

A breeze to turn my desert into a blooming eden

I look for a support when I stumble over the edge

A helping hand that can guide me in this mean ocean||

I listen to my heart's beat with awe

Rising my thoughts higher with every sound

With every beat I draw my eyelids closer

Till I be free to enter my world

And till I be free from the bounds to my feet||

With love

Manoj S K

Hey everyone.......I don't know why but I am super active during nights...Nocturnal.Engineering and hostel life made me more nocturnal definitely.!Nights associated with sleep followed by dreams and I am sick of dreams that never come true.But still I love my dreams and I want to dream however.Contradictory patterns of behavior eh?I think(hope) atleast few of you share my contradictory way of thinking...

I was just thinking what particular thing changed over lifestyle and living and in what way.Oh,I can think of too many such particular things!!!Hey blame the science and technology not me for just reasoning them out!Well fine,these things gave us many comforts and luxuries which I can never deny but I see a very big void nevertheless..Why is this happening to me?Is it right to blame the world or is it me who is responsible for this insanity?

I just wanna ask you something.Just suppose there is a guy who is a maestro.A genius in his domain.He sacrificed almost everything in his life to achieve something big.He never went out with friends;never visited relatives;never spend quality time with family.Everyday he was immersed in his work and persevered towards excellence.He pushed himself to limits everyday.Never compromised for anything mediocre.Day and night,workaholic..Ain't that great? After ten years he got the greatest recognition in his work and people across the world started to know him.He was felicitated by the local organizations too.Ain't that amazing??OH,WAIT!!!NONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS IN THE AUDIENCE!!NO FRIENDS TOO!In fact,no one in the audience were known to him...Well,now if i ask myself how i feel about this man,I see no achievement;no honor;no praise.I just find a lonely soul who suffered and sacrificed everything to achieve something that could never bring back to him his true roots;his people.

And I never want such life guys.Many may not agree with me.They might feel that the aforementioned guy is a true achiever;a wizard.But I still feel he is a loser.My philosophy is simple:I am born in this world.I must live my life with the ones who know me and love me.I want regular stuff in life.I still like garlic bread ,chicken pizza.But sometimes I love roadside chat with friends.SUVs are truly amazing but once in a while a long walk in the cool evenings are divine.Armanis and Guccis are true stunners but a very old pair of jeans and an ill fitting tee gives you the comfort never felt before.Funny and stupid these might sound,but these are very true to me.Gospel true.
Guys,make plans for life-achievements,dream jobs,career,partner etc.But sometimes just relax.Don't take life toooooo seriously.Don't over plan and miss the very essence of life-spontaneity.
Take off your shoes and walk on the grass in mornings.Feel the wetness.Amuse yous skin.Face the rain drops and feel the sensation rather than running for place to prevent rain fro reaching you.Chuck your sun glasses and once in a while feel the heat.A cup of coffee while it is cold outside is truly great.Feel the smell of soil just when it starts raining.Feel the air,feel the ambience,feel the moon,feel the sun,feel the cool breeze.....All these things we encounter in everyday life but we appreciate them only once in so many days.These things won't change but our vision changes.Our perspective changes.If everything is beautiful everyday then it is a boring thing for sure.

Do what you want to do.Never regret any moment that made you happy.There is no crime in doing stuffs which are not hurting others.Embrace your flaws as tightly as you embrace your plus points.But do not regret at some later point of life for not doing what you truly wanted to do.Show care to people who deserve it.Love the ones who live with you.Forget enmity.Fall in love with life.Because life is the only personal thing you have got in this world........Just personalize it.Never follow a stereotype.
God bless
With love
Manoj

life is so .....

Well.after a long long time,I am back to blog.It feels good and better than the day i started to blog first.I wanted to share things with all.Many things happened around me and WITHIN me.Well,people who think i am being too philosophical or too not-so-normal,i can't help being so.Because that is what I am deep within!!Who can change a life just for a change's sake?It will be so fake,so unnatural.My true self is overt to all folks who know me.I want to tell you all first,I love you fellow humanity......
Now coming to me,I must first say that I started wondering why am I living this life which is not so happening!Which is all so boring and which is so hurting because of its unexpected results.Sometimes I see all my life passing in front of my eyes like a reel of a movie.It maybe a cliched statement but it is so true that I can't prevent myself from saying so.I had loads of fun from the day i gained knowledge of my existence.Lot of love from parents,friends and God Almighty.Few little fights over small things and then reconciling with friends happily sharing.Laughs,cries,giggles,joy,pain,love,friendship etc.And I am a normal human being,so I had my share of dark qualities.I might have had jealousy,angry over funny things,real fights which got physical sometimes and i was not always the winner.Flirting,teasing friends,making fun of almost everything around me.Laughing at the people who took life so seriously.I was a moron,very sure.I got good marks,I topped classes,came second at times;won medals in games,took part in activities.Oh man,I was not a boring guy,I see it now...

Life seems so great at times.When I was actually feeling and doing all the above stuff,I never realized I was having fun.I thought nothing then.I dint know any code for life,no idea about future.All were provided before asking;no waiting.I never knew what was hunger.No idea about the dark shadows of life that the poor faced.I was not born with a silver spoon but my parents provided me with more than what i deserved.Because parents know just love,not "deserve" calculations.They made me what I am and what I will be.All my life is their's.They never expected any reciprocation.The love and selfless care that means a million heavens to me..THANK U GOD FOR MY PARENTS AND THEIR LOVE.

My friends taught me that living for someone who is not related by blood to you is the most wonderful feeling of life.I had smiles, I had tears,I had rises and also falls.I had luster but dull at times.I hurt them sometimes and I made them feel bad.But,never they orphaned me.Life would've been a desert guys without you.You helped me,supported me,patted on my shoulder when i achieved something,gave me a warm hug when i needed it,offered me your shoulder to cry upon.Many many friends,made me feel special even in the times of utmost silence.Well that is friendship na after all?You helped me with girls issues and affair dramas too.GOD BLESS U ALL FOR ETERNITY.

I want to thank you-un namable one.You made me a different human being all together with love.What would it have been like without you in my life?You stayed within me and led me like a beacon.You had that trust which would fill the world.You convinced me that I am something.I owe you a lot.You'll shine in me .You will walk with me in every path i go.I see you even when I close my eyes. Love forever.

So much to the wonderful life which I can't even define
So much for the ecstatic love which I never could imagine
So much for the wonderful past that I can never relive
And so much for the shining future I haven't started to conceive||

I have just this present moment alive,like a melting ice in my hands
This may just drop out,before I can feel the existence|
To use it or not,its under my control,in my power
But I just can't grasp the universe with a single glance||

All the people who made me live my dreams
All those who were with me during my pinnacle and vale|
All those who met the inner self hidden in my depths
All those who lifted my spirits like a divine ale||

There was pain for gain in history
There will be blood even in the future|
Harsh winds creep into every man's story
Like a hammer to a stone in its way to a sculpture||

But its not curse,not pain not strife
Its a man's will and wisdom that shine his life||||

Will return to you
With love
Manoj
PS:fell in love with life again

the god father

CRazy hell...What an awesome master piece in the world of cinema...One of the very best movie i've ever seen...Watch it for its brilliant plot and you are going to realize a wonderful secret in the life-"POWER CANNOT BE GIVEN..IT IS TO BE TAKEN ,CONQUERED..If you're a capable tough guy,world respects your feat..Good o bad way,stick to your principles and brethren its no philosophy..The combo is also such an amazing thing....Marlon brando,Al pacino,De niro and the master story teller Francis coppola..It was always fun watching this stuff esp. when you're a fan of mafia genre..I learnt lot from the movie..I suggest all movie buffs to watch it if not seen yet......IT JUST ROCKS GUYS...