Philllllosophy

Maybe the title can scare the hell out of few people and can think about me as a weird guy cuz philosophy may seem very unnatural to them or very weird.But I am no Kant, no Rousseau, no Osho..My philosophy is just my way of life.My rules,my codes and my recollections.But my life has many subtle absurdities and hidden darkness.But when those attributes define ME,I am not afraid to be with them.I indeed am damn proud about them..You love it or hate it,I am gonna say it..............

I am born to be me.Not a copy of a pre existing being.Its a worst thing to follow someone's life code and being "someone-part 2".But when I must be myself,I have to know me.Trust me,its the hardest part of life.When I am not just me and I comprise you,Its even harder.And it is the case always because I am always relative entity trying to enter absolute reality which is so raw and apparently surreal.I am a contradiction.I am the truth to me.I am that infinite reality and I am the grinning mirage.

Underneath all masks ,there is a raw truth that is beyond my physical body.I can say that at birth I was this quintessence which uniquely led to the same truth.I was also the crude humanity with the dark core.But I got layers of camouflage to cover my substinance.. Education,society,parents,friends,experiences,hardships of the world,money etc were the culprit masks.I was lost underneath.I opened my eyes wide,I couldnt see the truth.Immobile was I.!!I saw things through the eyes of these masks that were not mine.That was not my gospel.I looked around and I could see many similar masks.Was I seeing the false by looking at reality??Did the life lie to me by telling its TRUTHS??I tried in vain.....

But then I closed my eyes.Now I was able to see the sun!!I could walk in that light forward.Inward..I moved like an unbound breeze..I was going into ME now.The play of lights and shadows.My virtues and vices,my pains and my heights.I could see a glint in my reflection.I could see an ocean of bliss and ambiguity spanning ages at same time.It is not the same life afterwards.It may not be visible but I can feel ME.

I mean my deeds,my views,my living that makes ME live for ages.I only live once physically but what I do in that living gotta be pleasing for further generations.That part of me lives ahead of me,beyond me and along me.I may not have to proclaim any 'good's or 'bad's as those two words are relative to every person's self.It is what I believe in matters the most and its impact on me and others.I JUST LOVE EVERY PART OF THE LIFE TILL NOW.I MAY HAVE HAD A LOAD OF MISTAKES BUT THAT MAKES ME.NO REPENTS...................

A kick of nostalgia-MY PU DAYS

Well,this may be a quick post after my last one..I use blogging as a way to express my feelings and as an outlet to my emotions.So when I get a emotional high,writing helps me..In this blog I would like to talk about the people who changed me and my way of seeing the life..It is an account of nostalgia I experience everytime I think about my teachers and friends from college...I wish to dedicate this article to my PU college teachers and classmates................

I would start with the day I entered my college for the first time.I am horrible at days and dates,so please bear with me.It is not history;just a slice of my life..I was some 16 year old teenager who just came out of cocoon of my schooling,where I was a kid unexposed to the real world.At that time,everyone were running a rat race for engineering and medicine.So the motif of that time was "superb score in CET;this is turning point of your life".These statements came from family friends,elders,teachers etc.And taking into account my academic achievements,the expectations on me were really high.But at home,I was never burdened.They gave me full freedom so I never really felt the bad pressure..

So the day I entered the class was really amazing.Very new faced people sitting all around me with the same anxious and sanguine expression as mine.A different ambience,huge classroom,quandary about the near and distant future...I was just a bag of mixed feelings.Nonetheless,I was very ecstatic.The crew of our college came and they stood there in front of us,on the dias,speaking high about the college and briefing to us the expectations they bore on us..The talks are still so vivid.That day continued with making of new friends,jotting down the stuff being taught in class,fighting with the lingering reveries that has no start or an end..

Days passed very soon.They were spent with real joy.How can I ever forget those days.The days when there were ten hands in a single lunch box.Days when we were so stupid to fight over causes that were nothing at all now.Silly talks in the last benches,comments about the lecturers,gossips about unmentionable things...OOPS...............And we had seperate section for boys and girls.Only times the two universes get to see each other were during breaks or combined classes.That was the time when the tenderness of childhood completely vanished and a rogue,rough and breathtaking youth was carving its niche in our lives..Attraction,infatuation,crush,liking -all these were slowly making their way.A sweet sensitivity was accompanied by a stony indifference.Many smiles and many frowns.Many silences and harsh arguments.Silly talks and ugly brawls.Everything was as natural as breathing.Day after day,month after month,we classmates grew closer to each othe.Spending nearly 12 hours every at the college made us feel that it is our home. Glances at the corner of eyes set the hearts racing,a subtle smile invoked a sense of "heroism".Every day was a new breeze and every memory is a treasure of joy.

During the second year,educational reasons took the front seat.Everyone had their dreams..Passions to follow.Engineering,medicine,pure sciences etc.Huge books,whoopy lectures,guides everything was following us.But friends were there...They were always there

The people who taught us at college ,,,,I wont call them my lecturers...They were trying to see their dreams in our eyes.They taught us the alphas,omegas,HCL,Aqua regia,frequencies of waves and the gravity,human nervous system and also made us to get cockroaches and rip them apart...But they also taught us the value of life.Reason of survival and the morals of race.They were real task masters and we hated to work hard but when the results are in front of my eyes, I go dumb and am filled with the gratitude that flows like tear of joy in my mind's eye.

Now the days are gone.We dont see much of our classmates in real.We hardly meet them.But once the days are remembered,a feeling of ecstacy fills in the heart and the soul dances for the unheard song of love...

We might have mocked at you at times,may have hurt your feeling,might have put you in a fix,but we all love you.The relationship between a teacher and his students is like a forest...Older it grows,richer it is.

I want to say one thing through this poem dedicated to all the teachers who dont work dor money but for the sake of the well being of their students and the honesty of their profession.

"A LIGHT IS A WONDERFUL THING

BUT THE HANDS THAT LIT IT ARE GREATER

THE FIRE IN MY HEART IS SHOWING ME THE WAY

BUT THE SPARK THAT CAUSED THIS FIRE IS YOU,MY TEACHER"

To the people who are infected by the love and who are willing to stay infected forever

Manoj S K

EVERY DREAM IN THE DARK

A new day,new beginning for the usual thought.Every night before I slumber I think of a strategy for the next day.'No more stopping,I must start a new plan.I must stop wasting time'-These thoughts keep running in my head till I fall asleep.After these thoughts,the next thing to rule my mind is the world of dreams.Diverse,strange,funny and mysterious.They attack me,they console me,they protect me and they disturb me.I will be a saint,or a sinner.A king or a subject.Victim or a suspect....Never really can things happen like they do in dreams sometimes.I keep wondering time and again-Is the life which I think real a dream?Or the dream which scares me is in fact reality?Which is the point of reference for the decision regarding this? I may sound insane to many but the struggle within me may in fact be a struggle inside many heads...

So is the mindset!Never will it be general.But whenever you try to personalize it,it runs away from you.Maybe dreams and mindsets are siblings trying to save you from their own trap.Someone cant really wait for someone else to save them from misery.It is your own path.But the biggest mistake we do is to shadow our own paths and ask for someone else's beacon to show you the way.People either lose the charm of the destiny while choosing their path or miss the joy of that adventurous path while dreaming about the goal.....

No doubt,we all struggle to reach our goals.But,the journey is far more amazing than the destination..Because,you are alive when you move.When there is no motion,there is no life....

I can express my feelings here...

Before I close my eyes to drown in sleep

My mind broods over ideas dark and deep

It unfolds a whole new world to me

And shows me the depths which I fear to leap||

When the dark of night embraces me

With my dubious soul I try hard to see

The hidden faces behind the worldly masks

That cover the sorrows with a lie of glee||

I wait for a wind of change every new moment!A word that can never be a blasphemy,a loving hug that can never turn into vicious trap,a song of glory that lifts my spirits even in front of death,a nectarine touch that can remind a mother's warmth,a convincing hand that never says good bye.............Are all these the dreams that are waiting to become reality?

I wait with my eyes wide open,for a wind of change

A breeze to turn my desert into a blooming eden

I look for a support when I stumble over the edge

A helping hand that can guide me in this mean ocean||

I listen to my heart's beat with awe

Rising my thoughts higher with every sound

With every beat I draw my eyelids closer

Till I be free to enter my world

And till I be free from the bounds to my feet||

With love

Manoj S K